3 Reasons You Want Him To Find You! 

Hey ladies!

Guess what I’m doing??!? (High pitched girly voice)

The final edits for my book!!

Ahhhhh!! So excited!!! 🙆🏽💃🏽📚

Since I have to finish editing. This will be a quick blog! I stepped away for a break & yet, (I’m still writing) 🙃 so typical of me! #AlwaysWorking

Let’s dive right in shall we?? Here’s “3 Reasons You want Him To Find You!” and not the other way around

⭐️Proverbs 18:22-The man who finds a wife finds a treasure, and he receives favor from the LORD.

The number one reason you want a man to find you is because, 

                1.  You Are The Treasure!

  • Treasure: any thing or person greatly valued or highly prized: to regard or treat as precious; cherish.

Treasure is rare! Treasure is beautiful! Treasure can also add value to the man that finds it!

Sis, what pirate movie have you seen where treasure just pops out to the pirate and says, “Here I am! Come and get me!” 

Ummm.. none I’m sure! 

I’ve seen pirate movies where men & their families have searched decades!! Even centuries! Just to find the hidden treasure. 

The more time you spend chasing after him, the more you show him, how “little” you think you’re worth! Not to mention it looks kind of…dare I say it??


Sorry, I didn’t wanna’ say it!

Moreover, it’s necessary! When you act as if a man is the treasure and you’re not, men will know!
They quickly notice the difference between a woman who has confidence & a woman who has low-self esteem. 

⭐️NOTE: There is nothing attractive about a woman, who acts as if “no man” wants her!

Instead of chasing him,  popping out every 5 minutes, and doing things like (stalking his social media, befriending him on every social media site, DM him saying how cute he is, etc.)

Walk in confidence sis! Ask God to help you if you battle with low self esteem! Allow God the time he needs to work on you but do not chase a man! The last thing you want is for him to validate your worth!

What if he’s says, “She’s worth a Motel, a McDonald’s fry and a Big Mac!” Would you allow him to present that to you? Accepting that as a date night?

I sure hope not! 

The same goes with letting a man find you! If you let him find you, he’ll deem your worth wayyy more than an insecure woman who gets in his face all the time and sends piles of text messages all day

⭐️NOTE: You train men how to treat you, by the way you treat yourself! If you think and act like a pebble, they will treat you like a pebble. If you act like a diamond, they will value you & treat you with care! 

The second reason you want a man to find you is because, 

                   2. You Can’t Do His Job!

Trying to get a man to pursue you is a job within itself! It’s too much work

  • First you have to stalk him,
  • Find out what he likes,
  • what he doesn’t like,
  • His preference,
  • His favorite hairstyle on a woman,
  • Try to change yourself to look like that woman,
  • Find out his favorite color,
  • Buy an outfit in that color!
  • Go to the place he’ll be at!
  • Be in place to smile when he walks by!
  • Pray to God that he saw you!

😓 Oy Vey!

Just thinking about all that gives me a headache! 

Sis! Pleaseeeeee!!! If that is your plan….

Put a halt ✋🏽 to that Plan of action! You’re going to run yourself ragged trying to get a man to like you, who’s not interested. You can’t force a man to pursue you! Anymore than you can force a dog to be a cat!

If a man is interested, he’ll let you know. No man wants someone who’s forcing them to be in a relationship! Forcing them to pay attention! Forcing them to listen! Forcing them to call or text! Forcing them to marry them!

If you have to do all that forcing and you’re still in the courting stage, (the time when men pursue the most) Can you imagine?? How life will be, if you actually get this man?!

I can tell you now, it won’t be good! You will not get the love God has for you if you keep settling for men who could care less if you’re there or not!

You want a man who wants you! Not someone you have to force to see your worth! If he doesn’t see it! Wave bye 👋🏽 and keep it moving!
TrustGod will send you a good man that will pursue you! Someone who will see every bit of your worth & treat you how a King is supposed to treat a Queen. You won’t have to chase him down and manipulate him to do it either!

He’ll do it naturally!

If you haven’t read the blog: “Is Your Man A Prince Or A King?” Click on the title! It’ll take you straight to it! It’s so helpful seeing the characteristics of a King, so you won’t be fooled by a sweet talking prince! 

Lastly, the main reason you want a man to find you is because, 

     3. You Can’t Change “His” Timing 

⭐️NOTE: No matter how “good” of a woman you are, you’ll never be good enough for a man who’s not ready. 

Sis, you can’t make a man be ready to commit to you! I believe, timing plays a big part in many successful relationships!

  • Now, I’m not talking about foolishness, such as: a man giving you lame excuses as to why he doesn’t want to be with you (yet he still wants to get husband benefits & soak up all your time) 

uhm no ma’am! 

I’m talking about men who are good men & want something more, but right now, it’s just not a good time, maybe because of their “careers aren’t established” or they’ve “just recently gotten out of a bad relationship.”

Let’s deal with the latter. 

If a man just got out of a bad relationship and you just so happen to slide in his DM’s, The timing will be incredibly terrible!

Although, men and women are quite different in many areas! One thing we’re the same in, is needing time to recoop from a bad relationship.

  • Recuperateto regain or recover. to get back an equivalent, as of something lost.

This man just lost some of his time, money, his heart & maybe he feels as if his efforts went unnoticed! One thing I can say about men, is that when they truly love a woman, they go all out! It may take some time for him to let down his guard but once he does, the world is yours. (Meaning, he’s going to make sure you’re happy)

Think about it sis! If this man just went through trying to give his ex the world 🌎 and it didn’t work out?

He’s going to need time!!! 

Time to recoop! Time to figure out “Why in the crap did this not work out?” “What did I do wrong?” He needs to figure out what’s the next step in his life! I’m sure getting into a new relationship is nowhere near his mind

You don’t want to come in right after a bad breakup! What if he’s not over her? What if he still wants to work things out with her? If you’re thrown into the middle of that horrible love triangle you can get hurt!

The concept of being a superhero for a broken hearted man, has left many women themselves, heart broken in the process! The only superheroes is Jesus & Time. 

I know what you’re thinking sis! 

You’re thinking💭,

  • If I could just show him how much better I am for him than her!”
  • “He’ll see my efforts and know I’m the one he needs to be with!”

Not meaning to burst your bubble, but he will not see anything! Getting the attention of a man who still has feelings for his ex is impossible. Yes! He may go out with you but he’ll still be thinking about her.
That is the last thing you want sis! You want to have a mans full attention! You want him to be focused on getting to know you. You want him to be focused on what the two of you can build together! Not what he could’ve had with ole’ girl back there! 

Undoubtedly, if he still has feelings for his ex; you could become a rebound! A girl he has fun with, sleeps with (if you let him) and a girl he quickly forgets.

Now I don’t know about you…

But “I ain’t goin! (southern accent) I got too much to offer to be someone’s rebound! Chile’ please!”

That sis! Is the main reason you want a man to find you! In his pursuit, you’ll know he’s ready! You’ll know it’s good timing & you’ll know he feels that now is a great time to take on a new relationship!

Ladies, because dating season aka: (cuffing season) is coming up! I want you to be careful! Don’t let all your hard work and patience be thrown away simply because you don’t want to be alone this holiday season!

Settling to fit the “relationship quo” for the Holidays is never worth it! Being impatient and pursuing men is not God’s plan for your life

Leave the match-making to God. Don’t let the “sighs” people make when you walk into the Holiday party 🎉 alone, get you down!

                     Wait on The Lord! 

Don’t get ahead of his timing! Be patient and know that good things come to those who wait!

Alright! I am out of here

Love your sis, 

🌸Takyah Love🌸


  1. Great post and very good advice! Funny, tonight I just attended an event for our church’s young single women, How To Wait While Single. I was one of the married women on the panel. Congratulations on your achievement too!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Wow!! Sounds like a great event! And yes ma’am it can get hard out here for us singles! Especially during this time of the year! But if we keep our eyes on Jesus! He’ll give us strength! I am so elated you enjoyed the blog!! Thank you so much!! ☺️

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Enjoyed your blog, great insight and funnny! Keep providing the knowledge and information that single , divorced, widowed women of all ages can benefit from. You are truly a blessing to the body of Christ. Love PFW

    Liked by 1 person

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