⚠️🚫 LONG POST WARNING 🚫⚠️
Where do I begin?
Well, I guess I’ll first start with the shopping. 🛍️
Saturday, I went shopping with my mom.
We got us some new Mac products, perfume, & tennis shoes.
After our small shopping spree, we got us some Honey BBQ wings and for dessert we had a bowl 🥣 of cookies and cream ice cream.
So, overall, yesterday was a pretty good day. 😌
Another side-note ⭐️ before moving on.
Remember Takyah the name of that wonderful sweet smelling perfume was called Good girl.
Although, the budget didn’t allow for it today, I am so coming back next month to get me a bottle of that “Good Girl Supreme” perfume and the regular “Good Girl” scent. I could’ve cried tears of joy when I smelled it! It smelled that dang-on good!! 😭😭😭
Unfortunately, ya girl is overdo for a “pedicure” and a “hair do” on top of having just spent $200 on kitchen items, a juicer & a new set of pots & pans 🤦🏽♀️.
I’ve went over my $400 limit for the month and I cannot put off my pedicure any longer, so that perfume will have to wait. I grabbed my favorite low-end smelling perfume instead.
Any who, let’s get into this mountain 🏔️ trap 🪤.
For the sake of discretion; I’m going to write this next part of my blog a little weird. I’ll be switching back and forth between first person & third person (without warning); as well as writing in some kind of sloppy thrown together story mode.
I also know that the few of you who come to read my blogs won’t have any CLUE as to what the crap I’m talking about anyway, and I want to keep it that way. Lol 😂
But for the sake of venting,
I must blog it out.
So, here we go.
Keke was nervous as she was putting on her makeup. She hadn’t seen Kaleb since last fall at an event. He was doing something for people, something about making a difference, something about something; and she wanted to observe him up closer. That’s why she made sure to get a seat in the VIP section. Unfortunately, when she finally got up the nerve to approach him & compliment him on his work, another woman wanted a picture with him so she shrugged her shoulders and walked off.
Now, a little over a year later.
Here we go again.
Another function where maybe I can view him a bit closer. Try to pick up on his spirit & see what’s he’s really about.
Except, this time, I honestly wasn’t going to go. If I’m being entirely truthful, I was starting not to care about any of it at all.
I had already unfollowed the guy.
Yeah, yeah I know I’ve done that before only to follow him back again a short while later; but this time…
It was something behind it. It was a cold chill. It was a doubt. It was a done with this behind it.
Matter of fact, I was already making it up in my mind “permanently” that this whole entire ordeal I’d found myself in was pure foolishness; and I truly wanted no parts of it anymore.
On top of life being “life”, me experiencing demonic warfare, my family talking bad about me, saying things such as: ‘Why did she move to LA?’ ‘Ain’t nothing happened yet.’ People in my old church laughing at me and forming “text groups” about me, my cousins not liking any of my videos or music or supporting me, like I continuously support them (not that I care anymore) but I mean its just been a-lot.
With everything else life keeps throwing at me, the last thing I needed was extra mental baggage to carry around, trying to believe in something that I was unsure was even God anymore.
Crazy thing is, I had already made it up in my mind not to go when my mother brought it up late one night.
“Hey, don’t you think you should try to go to that event? It sounds fun!”
I rolled my eyes and scoffed.
Thinking to myself,
I’m not going anywhere.
God’s gonna have to make me go!
Oh… how arrogant my thoughts 💭 were.
Honestly, at the time I thought it, I didn’t even think it was arrogant…
Well… maybe just a little bit.
I don’t know.
All I know is,
I was tired.
I didn’t wanna look at him or think about him anymore.
I was developing a terrible negative outlook on this whole experience & I’m sorry, but after hearing so many horror stories of women who believed they knew something and it turned out not to be.
You cannot blame me for being scared. At some point, you simply get tired of hearing spiritual promises with no manifestations in the natural.
So, the night that I huffed and puffed & swore that, God would have to MAKE ME GO.
I meant it.
I grit my teeth with anger as I covered my head with my covers and went to sleep.
I think God took that personally, because there I was, two nights later 🌙 putting on makeup and calling me a Lyft ride. 🤦🏽♀️
Let’s just say I had 3 dreams that night.
Back to back.
That were absolutely awful… 🥺
In one dream,
I was walking fast away from this man. As I walked away he called my name. He said it with so much happiness and joy, but I answered him with a frustrated & angry tone yelling, “What?!”
The man was taken back and had a look on his face that said, Did she really just yell at me? 😳
I turned around to face him and he simply responded, “Never mind.”
I then turned from him and walked away.
Even though I walked away from him & my back was turned toward him, it’s like God still allowed me to see what was happening in that moment. I then saw him put this engagement ring 💍 & box back in his pocket & he walked away.
The next dream, was me in a hotel.
It was an extravagant, expensive hotel. The room had to be the size of my apartment now.
Like, it was crazy.
However, although the room was pretty,
I was a mess.
I was alone in this hotel room, crying, staring at an award on the edge of a dresser. For some reason, I kept looking down at my ring finger. I saw that I wasn’t married.
Even though I wasn’t married there was this big buff man outside of my hotel room trying to get in. He was demonic and literally looked like a devil.
He was smiling evilly and waiting on me to open the door so he could have sex with me.
Honestly, he reminded me of this spiritual husband that used to try to have sex with me in my dreams. (That’s a story for another day though.)
Any way, this man had a nice body but that was it.
He had no substance, no depth, no nothing and it was as if I had missed out on God’s choice because of my disobedience.
Finally, the grand finale.
I was in a car and the devil was driving me. He was going 225 miles per hour down the highway and laughing at me the entire ride. He began screaming to the top of his lungs and he was about to crash me into this big building and kill me.
When I woke up the next morning, (almost in tears) I woke up to the voice of God telling me: “You WILL GO and I will be with you.”
And That case was closed.
I RSVP for the event & a few days later, I was putting on my Dundler Mifflin cap and walking out the door.
Back to the story:
Keke didn’t have a choice. She knew within her spirit that something was pulling her to go. She could do a last minute cancellation, but after all the dreams she’d had, she was scared to take that chance; so she mustered up within her, all the courage she could and began walking towards the Lyft driver.
Ironically, he was in a blue car 🚙.
His car matched her outfit.
That didn’t mean anything though. Just something she noticed.
The ride was terrible! 😞
I was literally about to puke on the back of this man’s seat. He stopped the car to pull over and I hopped in the front seat. He turned his air conditioning up ❄️ & even gave me a bag of cheddar sun chips. 😋 He was so nice.
Unfortunately, even with all that he’d done, I was still car sick 🤢.
When Keke finally arrived to the building she was stumbling and didn’t even know if she could take one more step without puking.
She went to the door 🚪 and her vision was blurred a little so she wasn’t sure if she was at the right place. She stumbled her way into the garage with her heavy backpack and her Lyft driver yelled out “Hey, go back to the front door! They’re at the front door!”
She waved an emphatic thank you 👋🏽 and went up the stairs once again. This time, the door swung open. She threw her backpack on the nearest bench and tried to collect her breath. She had never been up this high in the mountains before & the winding roads (on an empty stomach) made her sick.
The woman asked her for her name.
Surprisingly, her name wasn’t on the list. Keke quickly whipped out her rsvp invite & ran into the bathroom.
She was almost sure she was about to puke.
But I didn’t.
When I walked into the bathroom, immediately the feeling left.
It was the strangest thing ever.
I brushed my hair a bit and refreshed my lip-gloss.
I was moving so much in the car, (trying to find a safe zone so I wouldn’t feel woozy) that I wanted to make sure my hair wasn’t sticking up in any crazy places and that my cap was still on right.
After refreshing myself, I opened up the bathroom door, grabbed my phone off the table and skedaddled up the stairs. I couldn’t believe the comfy spot I’d found. I was actually shocked that it wasn’t already taken. Especially, seeing that I had arrived a few minutes later than the actual starting time.
I can thank Lyft for that.
It canceled two drivers & changed my ride three times before the third person finally arrived.
As Keke was walking over, the girl on the edge of the couch motioned for her to join them on the couch. “Yes! Come on girl! I was waiting for someone to take up this space.”
Keke smiled and sat down.
20 mins later…
Keke was staring down at her phone in deep thought when she was interrupted with an introduction & the clapping of many hands. She didn’t really want to look up. In fact, she wanted to stare at her phone for the rest of the night to keep from looking at him. Her heart was already beating fast and she had to keep taking deep breaths to try to calm her nerves.
But, when the hand claps stopped;
I couldn’t help but look up.
And when I did,
I looked him straight in his eyes.
After a few seconds,
I looked away.
I could feel my cheeks starting to rise up in a blushing ☺️ manner & I wouldn’t dare give him that satisfaction.
The funny thing is when I looked at him & he glanced back at me; it almost looked like he was nervous a little as well.
Now, of course it could all just be in my head…
I could be on to something. 🧐
Any who, the night went on.
He talked. His friends talked. I cried thinking about how much I loved Jesus & the night was beautiful.
I snuck in some glances when he wasn’t looking and laughed quite a bit at him. He was quite charming.
Now, there were a few things he said, that made me say… “Honey please” & roll my eyes at him. 🙄 lol but other than that, the event was a success & I’m sure many people were filled up afterwards.
As he began to talk, Keke looked straight at him.
She was hearing what he was saying, but she was trying to hear what he was not saying. She squinted her eyes a bit, as if that would help her hear him better.
“I don’t want to hurt nobody by trying to expose them to the parts of me they can’t handle or what would happen to them, if they did see all those parts of me?”
Keke continued to look at him blankly but inside she was rolling her eyes.
Oh hush! I thought to myself.
There is nothing you can expose me to that would make me run away from you or try not to understand you.
The point of the matter is, you’ve simply chosen many women back to back who were not for you.
And they weren’t supposed to be.
Nevertheless, I am not them.
And rest assured, (but humbly speaking) you ain’t never had a woman like me.
“I don’t even know if I can do that or even if I deserve that.”
Wait. What did he just say?
What in the crap?
Lord, if he doesn’t even think he can do marriage? Or doubts he even deserves it?
Then, why in the world am I even here GOd?
That one line fired me up so much that I was just about to start rambling in my mind until a light bulb went off.
I said in astonishment.
It was as if I’d had an epiphany. 💡
Let me focus on that last line.
I don’t even think I deserve that.
Then, for a brief moment I became sad for him.
I wanted to walk across the room, touch him on his hand, look him straight in the eye & ask “Why?”
Why do you think you only deserve crap Kaleb?
Well, I wouldn’t say it quite like that… lol 😅
But no seriously…
Who told you that you only deserved surface leveled lovers?
Who told you that you had to settle for shallow and cute Vs. Deep & beautiful (on the inside as well as the out.)
Who told you, that you had to force yourself to try to make mediocre relationships work vs. having a relationship that was passionate, fulfilling and set on fire by God himself?
What situation made you believe that you couldn’t do marriage?
What relationship made you believe such foolishness about love that you became convinced you don’t deserve anything more?
Who lied to you?
You deserve fire. 🔥
You deserve intimacy. 🫂
You deserve passion. 💋
You deserve peace. 🕊️
Matter of fact, one of the ways you can know that a love is real is that,
Real love never requires you to sacrifice your peace in order to keep it.
It’s a package deal when it comes from God.
You deserve happiness. ☀️
You deserve meaningful conversations that will help you get to the bottom of yourself and surrender those broken parts of yourself completely over to the Lord.
You deserve forgiveness after you’ve made mistakes.
You deserve grace for being human.
You deserve a woman who can pray for you instead of preying on you for her own selfish reasons.
And no, you have not always been 100% innocent,
but guess what?
No one has.
Who is perfect but GOD?
Who has it all together but GOD?
Moreover, your past does not disqualify you from the glorious future God wants to give you. And He still wants to give it to you even with knowing all those things about you, and even though you feel you don’t deserve it.
Nevertheless, if you say things like that around me, I will want to get to the root of it.
It’s in my nature.
I’m not gonna “Aww baby it’s gonna be okay.” And then move on to the next thing, as if you just didn’t expose a piece of your heart to me.
No, I’m gonna dig even deeper into you so we can uproot it and implement ways you can start healing that area of your heart.
You may as well call me Takyah Indiana Jones.
The night was over and immediately Keke called her Lyft ride.
The app notified her that her driver was fifteen minutes away.
Fifteen minutes wasn’t that long of a wait, so she figured she’d walk into the kitchen and grab a few snacks while she waited. She got acquainted with another girl who was marveling at the house.
“Girl… do you know who’s house this is?”
“No.” Keke responded.
“Did you see that bedroom? Its huge!”
“No, I didn’t see it, but I did go to the bathroom earlier, and saw a steam room or sauna or something. I couldn’t help but see it because it was connected to the bathroom and the door was wide open.”
“They need to have us come back here in the daytime so we can really look around it.”
I thought to myself,
Honey, if God doesn’t start moving in this situation I am most certainly sure I will not be at the next one.
Keke changed the subject and they began talking about where they were from and how they got to LA.
As the woman continued talking Keke began stuffing blueberries and pineapples in her mouth. She noticed a man looking at her straight away & he began making his way over to them.
Awww naw brother, I don’t know who you are, but anyone with eyes can see you’re somebody important. You’re also somebody that knows Kaleb too. I just know it.
His name was Mel.
He was friendly, funny & gave you the aura of just being a very manly man. Like a guy who is persistent and knows what he wants. Then once he knows what he wants, he goes after what he wants. He was also cute.
I’m not sure exactly what he’s up to, but I am not interested.
I did not come here for him, I came here for God.
And also because of those very scary dreams. 👀 lol
And for whatever “other” reason The Lord wanted me here tonight.
That is why I am here.
After introducing himself & speaking with us a few minutes, he said something else and then walked off.
I resumed my discussion with my new acquaintance and a few moments later he came back.
“Hey ladies, they’re asking that everyone move downstairs so they can start cleaning up.”
I quickly rolled up my fruit and put it in my backpack.
Chile, hungry wun’ the word! I was starving.
And I wasn’t about to let no “cleaning” ruin my fruit snack. Matter of fact, before I put the fruit napkin in my backpack, I actually took more fruit and piled it all on top. I began walking away, but when I heard “Do you have an Instagram?” I was stopped in my tracks.
I turned to face him and said, “Uhm yeah.” The next thing I knew, he took my phone out of my hand, made me follow him and handed me my phone back.
I walked away but kept a mental note to be careful with him because I still did not know who he was.
I began walking down the stairs.
Thump. Thump. Thump.
I was focusing on the stairs, so I wouldn’t trip.
Then, here comes my heartbeat. Coming up the stairs as I am going down them.
I was so engulfed in that fruit bowl that I didn’t even notice he had totally disappeared from the top floor.
Are you serious God?
Why couldn’t I just stay upstairs a few more moments?
Why couldn’t I have come down the stairs sooner?
A few more steps to take and we passed each other.
Not a smile.
I kept going and so did he.
When I’d reached the bottom of the stairs, someone was sitting on the bench in-front of me, so I sat down on the bottom stair and waited for my ride.
A few moments passed and Lyft notified me that the driver had cancelled and that they would be finding me another driver.
Fifteen more minutes after that, my phone buzzed again.
We’re finding you another driver.
You have got to be kidding me!
What in the world is going on?
I mean, I know I live in Van Nuys and all but its only 30 minutes away!
Lord, why is this happening to me tonight?
Keke was looking down at her phone.
At this point, there was only one woman left with her. Everyone else was gone. The lady who was left with her said a fire truck had blocked in her car so she couldn’t leave.
Keke wanted to say back to her, “Well, God has blocked me up here as well, so I cant go either.”
Instead of saying what she really wanted to say, Keke simply nodded to the woman and gave a general “Wow, that’s crazy” response.
The next thing she heard was foot steps coming from behind her and she could’ve squealed. Kaleb walked right pass her again and went out the front door with his friend.
Why in the crap am I still here?
What are you doing up there!!!
Get me out of here!
You think this is real funny don’t you?
What is the purpose of this?
I stared down at my screen, my ride was still 14 minutes away. I silently exhaled and began to stare at the wall.
Now, I have been riding with Lyft for over 7 years and this has NEVER happened to me before!
Yet, in one single night it’s magically happening to me over and over again.
6 times in a row!!!
3 times on my way here and now a third time on my way out.
Oh, I know all to very well, Who’s Behind This!
And it ain’t Satan.
Oh no, this has Jesus’s fingerprints written all over it.
After a few more moments I let out another exhale and silently said to myself, “Okay, God. Whatever your will is, let it be done.”
After that I didn’t ask Him any more “Why?” questions for the rest of the night.
Mel popped his head around the corner.
“Is everything alright?”
“Well, actually? No. It’s not. I have been trying to get out of here since y’all dismissed us & for some reason my drivers keep cancelling on me.”
“Maybe, the drivers don’t want to come up this mountain because of the winding roads. I can take you down the mountain if you’d like?”
“Oh no. That’s okay. They’re only 12 minutes away now.”
Mel nods and walks off.
Unfortunately, my driver must’ve been a looney tunes character because every time I looked down at the app, there he was, driving in circles.
Mel walked back in and glanced down at Keke’s phone.
Her ride was still 10 minutes away.
“Hey, come with me. I’m gonna take you down the mountain and you can catch the ride from there.“
“Oh no, it’s okay you don’t have to-“
“Just come on.”
Then, like a little child, I followed lol.
It’s something about men that have a “manly mentality” or a “this is what’s finna happen and that’s the end of the story” attitude that just makes me do whatever the crap they say.
As long as they’re not trying to hurt me, I pretty much follow suit.
I think most women are that way though lol.
“Hey, I’m gonna go get my car. It’s up the mountain, do you want to walk with me?”
“Oh no, I’m fine.”
“Yes. I’ll be here waiting for you.”
“Okay, I’ll be right back. Just give me 5-10 minutes.”
God what is going on?
It’s already bad enough I’m getting in a car with a total stranger, but a stranger that is friends with Kaleb makes this even more weird.
However, if getting in the car with him, will get me home faster, then I will deal with a few strange minutes, because quite frankly,
I am tired.
I am hungry
and I am ready to go home.
Just as Keke finished her thought Kaleb and a man with a red hoodie walked pass her to put something in the back of a truck.
So, you’re just gonna walk right past me for the 3rd time tonight and not say anything???
I ought to find the nearest newspaper 🗞 and hit you upside your big plank head with it!
You can pretend your busy doing other things, but I know you see me!
And quite frankly, you’re actually giving yourself away.
See, if I was just a normal woman, you would’ve surely said something to me by now.
But because we both know I’m not, you wanna pretend to be busy.
You know what.
I’ll play along.
In the midst of Keke’s thoughts she was interrupted by the same guy who was just with Kaleb.
“Hey, are you okay?”
“Oh, yes! My rides kept cancelling, but I’m fine now.”
“Where did Mel go?”
“Oh, he went up the hill, he said he’ll be right back to get me.”
“You going with him?”
‘Well, my name is Kel, I just wanted to make sure you was good.”
Therein lies a prime example!
Do you see how easy it is to talk to people who mean absolutely nothing to you?
It comes effortlessly.
There’s no nerves, no awkwardness, no nothing. Just good ole’ plain, regular conversation.
Once again, Oh, big headed Kaleb, you’re only revealing yourself more and more that not only do you like me. But you also may know more than I thought you knew.
Mel pulls up.
Another blue car?
You know what?
I don’t even care anymore. 😑
I’m just ready to go home.
Keke hops in Mels car and doesn’t even look back to see if Kaleb is outside.
She wants to get away from that house and down the mountain as quickly as possible. If Mel is gonna have to be the one to help her do it, then so be it.
To my surprise, he was actually cool and very easy to talk to. I don’t know how, but we got on the subject of me coming to Cali, some of my testimony’s and the crazy miracle when God sent me a check in the mail out of nowhere that lasted me for months.
I also told him about my one way ticket to Cali, the hotels, & the faith It took to get here; he must’ve been really interested because after about 10 minutes of talking and us being in the car he realized he was driving in circles.
“Man, I literally just drove in a big circle. The restaurant is right here.”
I laughed at him and said “Really?”
He laughed back and said “Yeah.”
We came to a stop at some cute little diner and he said he was gonna valet so I grabbed my stuff and followed him into the restaurant.
There was a booth on the inside right by the door.
I can sit right over here, call my ride and go home.
I sat down and started- “Thank you so much for the ride. I can sit right over here and wait for my Lyft. You’ve been so nic-” before I could even finish my sentence he told me to get up and come over to the table, followed by a “You don’t want to sit with us?“
Wait, who is us?
Please tell me Kaleb is not coming here.
Do you know how crazy and awkward that would be.
Oh, God no…
The last thing I need is for him to think I stayed around on purpose and somehow made all of this happen.
I wouldn’t dare do such a thing.
God get me out of here!
My heart started beating fast.
I began taking deep breaths again to calm myself and I quickly went into the Lyft app to order my ride.
The app froze.
I tried to order another one and the app crashed and closed out.
God, what in the heavens are you doing?!?
Get me out of here I say!
I don’t want my first real encounter with this man to be me with a “Dundler Miffin” cap on, some sweats & a big jacket.
I mean it was a cute outfit for the laid back event. But not for a sitting right next to you kind of date thingy.
I didn’t want to be rude to Mel. Especially not after the way he helped me tonight.
Ugh, this is gonna be so nerve wrecking for me.
Keke and Mel sat down at a booth. As she was hitting her phone trying hard to get the heck out of there. Mel started, “You didn’t even know me and you just got in my car.“
To which she responded,
“You know what, I was sitting over here wondering that very same thang’. Like, how on earth did I go from a bible study, to getting in the car with a complete stranger, who’s sitting over here with his orange shirt all unbuttoned like he’s the head of an Italian mob.”
Oh, he must’ve thought that was so funny cause he burst into laughter.
Just then Kel walked in along with a couple and he said come back here y’all.
We sat down at a bigger booth with two tables.
Immediately, I took off my backpack, placed my bible on the seat right beside me and resumed ordering my ride.
Still, my phone was froze.
Okay, so, you’re just gonna make me sit here with them.
After proper introductions were over, Kel asked me if I was dating anyone and when I told him and Mel about my recent dating horror story that happened earlier this year when my cousin tried to set me up on a blind date with this painter 🎨 (WITHOUT MY CONSENT) they were almost in tears laughing at me.
The next thing I knew, I was telling them about Memphis, How I got here and the whole works.
They began bragging on each other’s accomplishments as well and it was so cute and brotherly!
I loved it. 🤗
One was doing his own show and working with this model. The other was singing and doing shows with likewise celebrities and I was happy to hear about black men succeeding.
The way this world is set up for them and us (black women), its just beautiful to see someone fighting through all of that and start making their mark on the world.
Kel was so sweet, he even said he’d let me know if any singing auditions would be coming up.
Five minutes later, they were all drinking mimosa’s, eating breakfast and laughing as if they were old time friends. It was so weird to Keke. She’d never even met or seen these guys before and yet, they felt like brothers she’d been knowing her whole life.
Once they told Keke Kaleb wasn’t coming, she especially let down her hair. He had to go to the airport.
Good! Keke thought.
Besides, he would’ve probably gotten to the table and pretended she wasn’t there anyway. So, who cares.
After I was done with my Mimosa, Kel gave me his phone and told me to put in my IG so he could follow me. I did what he said but I was not expecting the question that followed.
“Wait a minute you’re not following Kaleb?! How did you even hear about this?”
Mel turned to see my answer and they both were looking at me with a huge question mark.
How in the world will you pull yourself out of this one?
“I heard about it from his other page.”
Mel gave an okay look and continued eating. But Kel continued.
“Wait, so you follow that page but you don’t follow him?”
Make it make sense. 😖
Darn you Kel!
I already know you’re the sit back, be chill, doesn’t say much but observes everything kind of guy out of the group; but please do you have to be that way tonight?
I promise it will all make sense in the future, but tonight I am not telling y’all anything!
“Uhm no, I actually don’t follow any of his pages. A friend tagged me and told me that I should go. So, I wanted to check it out.”
They believed me and both said, “Aww okay.”
Lord Jesus forgive me for lying.
To be honest it wasn’t a COMPLETE LIE because a friend did tag me in his post telling me to go to his event. Except, I left out the part where that actually happened 5 years ago at an Ikea store.
Oh, well. 🤭
Besides, when God does what He keeps telling me He’s about to do. We’re all gonna sit back and laugh about this someday really soon anyway.
So, technically, it really doesn’t matter.
“So wait a minute? You’ve never met him?”
“Uhm no.” I said sharply while stuffing French toast in my mouth to avoid any more questions.
Once again, not really the truth, but not really a lie either.
I truly haven’t said one word to him in person, and neither has he.
So, it is kind of true.
“Are you kidding? Why didn’t you tell me that? I would’ve introduced y’all! Man, you gotta meet Kaleb.”
I smiled but got nervous again.
Mel chimed in, “Yo’ you know who else she should meet!”
They both looked at each other before saying in unison,
“Yo’ that would be crazy! They act just alike!”
“Kristy would love her!”
“Who is Kristy?” I said trying not to let any hint of jealousy come out of my throat.
“Oh, she’s this talented girl who’s producing and she’s even doing this thing for Kaleb that’s like a series. I’m not sure when he’s going to release it or how many episodes he has yet. Maybe 3. But man she would like you.” Kel finished.
I exhaled and smiled.
The night went on like that for another 30 minutes. Kel and I even high-fived each other at one point. Mel continued to laugh at me & my southern accent, & Kel and Mel both complimented me throughout the night. And I gave them compliments as well. 😊
Over the course of the hour I was a:
- Southern bell
- A breath of fresh air
- A woman who seemed like an old school soul who you could just come in and she would say “Kick your feet up and relax”
- A peaceful woman
- And my favorite one: Perfectly shaped. (When I got this compliment I was trying to cross my legs under the table and my thick thighs hit the table and I said, “I’m sorry, I was trying to cross my legs but chile’ these thighs is moving the whole table.” To which Kel responded, “Stop it. You’re perfect.”
I almost shed a tear. 😪
That was so sweet.
Especially, because sometimes I can get body conscious because I know I’m not as small as I used to be.
In return they were:
- So nice
- And my favorite one for them is: the cool guys 😎
After we were done eating, I called my ride and what do you know?
The app isn’t frozen anymore and my ride will be here in 15 minutes.
We asked for carry out boxes so we could box up our food.
Well, me and Kel that is.
Mel devoured his.
We then walked towards the front of the diner with our checks.
After paying for my food, I encouraged them to leave, but they rejected that offer saying they would not leave me until I got in my car.
I felt so protected.
They were so nice & I was so grateful for them. 🤗
The other guy who didn’t really speak to us the whole night (because he was on a date maybe) walked over to me and told me his name & unfortunately, I forgot it immediately once he told it to me. 🤣
So, let’s just call him and his girl “Runny & Sunny.”
I don’t know why, but even though he repeated his name twice, I still did not hear him.
To keep him from repeating it a third time, I simply nodded and said “Oh okay! That’s what you said! Well, it was nice to meet you too.”
We talked some more, laughed some more and finally my ride was here.
And what do you know…
Another blue car. 🚘
Chile, I swear I ain’t seen this many blue cars in all my life.
We all hugged each other and they made sure I got in my car.
And that was my night. 🌙
Now, this may sound a little strange, but honestly, had I not eaten breakfast with them.
Had I not had such a good time.
Had they not been so nice and kind to me and made sure I was safe.
My attitude towards Kaleb would’ve probably been a little negative.
Once I pondered what happened & realized that he literally walked past me several times without even saying a simple “hello” or “thanks for coming” or anything.
I thought one of three things:
- Either he is arrogant and he’s someone who wants women to come to him and throw themselves at his feet.
2. He was just as nervous as I was.
3. He truly was busy.
I hope it’s either number 2 or number 3.
Because me worshipping a man will NEVER happen.
It’ll be a cold day in Hell before I make a man an idol or a god.
But worship that only belongs to God?
The next day when I really sat down and thought about it some more I was even sad about it. I shed a few tears and felt a little hurt.
It just took me back to being a child and how I was rejected by people I love and it even made me think about how I’m still being rejected and laughed at today.
I mean he spoke and smiled to everyone else, so why not be kind to me? 🥺
What did I do to you?
Unfortunately, when you like someone this is the kind of exposure you expose your heart to.
Love is literally the daily choice to be naked or to cover up.
Now, covering up may get you a few good shallow things (sex, money, etc.) but being naked will bring you healing, expose your soul & deepen your love for one another.
Daily, we will have moments were we’ll have to choose if we’re going to be naked or cover up.
It’s literally a decision that keeps on deciding.
And every decision determines how deep or shallow your relationship will be.
Fortunately, I am not a person who fits in very well with shallow people. So, being in a relationship with someone who wants to stay surface level will only go so far with me.
I just hope he knows that.
And honestly, I don’t believe he’s like that,
I mean pretty much every word that comes out of his mouth should be in a New York’ Times best selling book 📚somewhere.
However, I just want him to know that him being the essence of who he truly is, is what’s gonna make me like him vs. if he just pretends.
Besides, I need for him to be naked!
Lol, I’m just kidding, chile let me get off of here before I start saying anything.
Any who, now I see why God wants us to be careful with who we let around us and call our friends.
Because although he didn’t speak.
They spoke up for him.
They were so funny and cool that I thought, “Hey, if he has good friends like this around him. Then, maybe he’s a good guy too.” 🙂
However, he so owes me a hug and a bouquet of flowers for that night. 💐
Anyway, let me get some sleep.
I’ve been typing for hours now.
Good night my loves.
I know y’all don’t understand any of this or what the crap I’m talking about. 🤣 lol
But it helps me.
Especially now since I’ve had to put my therapy on hold to start paying for my dental work.
I read the whole blog I felt like you was one my sister’s sitting beside me gossiping I loved it and I totally understand what you were saying about relationships